I think, therefore I'm single.
~ Lizz Winstead
Robin Williams Quotes
Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon.
Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
Cricket is baseball on valium.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
Cats only pretend to be domesticated if they think there's a bowl of milk in it for them.