Character is higher than intellect.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fred Allen Quotes
The world is a grindstone and life is your nose.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
Everything is for the eye these days - TV, Life, Look, the movies. Nothing is just for the mind. The next generation will have eyeballs as big as cantaloupes and no brain at all.
Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.